letter to my future self

 My proudest accomplishments throughout my high school years were when I was able to prove to myself that I can be academically smart when doubting myself. One of the moments where I proved myself academically smart as I doubted myself was during my senior year I had forensic science quiz it was on serology. Serology is the study of serum and other bodily fluids, after the teacher graded the test and handed it back to me, he told me that I had failed, and I had already known I had passed the test because I kept an eye on my grades making sure I was doing good in my classes. The challenges that I have had to overcome in high school are that I have always been struggling to keep a passing grade in most of my classes throughout all my high school years. To be honest it all started in 2019 when covid 19 had started my freshman year of high school was cut in half through one of the semesters and the school was shut down and we had school virtually and it was really hard at first because we didn’t know how to work Microsoft teams or any of the apps that we used during that time. Once everyone learned how to navigate their way to access the assignments and meetings everything seemed until everyone was having internet issues or not being able to join the meeting and or getting kicked out of the meeting, no one ever understood why but classes kept going and after a while the county decided to let the students borrow hotspots so that they wouldn’t have internet issues. The most valuable lessons that I have learned in high school are that making friend at first is hard at the beginning because your introduce to new surroundings that you aren’t used to so getting around and talking to new people was never going to be easy along with that along the way as I got older I started to learn that it is best to keep a small circle of friends because there is no one you can trust as much as you would think. An academic valuable lesson that I learned was taught to me by one of my teachers my senior year that in life after high school the one tough thing one is going to have to deal with learning how manage money by creating a budget and sticking to it no matter he told me and the rest of the class that from his experience it is hard to stick to the budget because of all the temptations one experiences throughout life. My hopes and dreams for the future is to finally get my mental health to a better state and to go out and explore more of the world around me since I did not get to do that much throughout my teenage years, I am hoping to be able to travel to different states or cities have experiences that I can reach is all that I really want for my future, as for my career in the future I for sure that I will choose something where I can express how I feel or show my emotions in a way that only i see and understand and hopefully get the chance to explain it in a way that makes sense. The fears that I have about the next steps after graduation are getting too comfortable during my gap year, I know that I might want to go to college and get into cosmetology specifically into hair things like doing hairstyles, cutting hair, coloring hair, etc. The personal qualities that I would like to develop is learning how to manage my anger, because I know that my anger can get the better of me sometimes it gets to the point where i might do or say something without thinking. I do end up regretting it afterwards and will apologize for my actions as well as for what I said at the time, I know apologizing will not be enough to fix all the emotional damage that was caused and I know because if you take a piece of paper and crumple it up and then uncrumple it and say sorry you can’t get rid of the folds and creases that were made when you crumple the paper into a ball. The one quality that I would like to continue to embrace would be my kindness because that is one of the qualities that can help you get far in life, in life not everyone's situation is looked at the same way and that is the unfortunate thing of the world upon many. A group of teachers throughout all my high school teachers have influenced me in high school those teachers are Ms. Simms, coach Moore, Ms. H, Mr. Rease, my counselor Mr. Smith, and Mr. Evans, there a few others but these mentors have given all the courage and support that I needed to make it to the finish line and i will be forever grateful. The goals that I have set to accomplish for the next five years is to build myself a stable career and making sure that I help out my mom along the way to say thank you for all that she has done for me and my siblings, also to build up my character to be my true self because honestly the main reason I want to take my gap year is to take some time to find myself completely again. As I move forward in life I plan on doing my own thing to stay true to myself no matter what anybody says because in life no matter what you do no matter how rich you are people will always find a way to criticize for the smallest mistake you make so the only way to stay true to oneself is by doing what makes them happy no matter what other people think or say. Finally, I can say that being able to graduate although one year later but nonetheless I am graduating, and it honestly feels so good to know what I can accomplish in year to recover what I needed to get here.